Trump, Commodus, and the UFC on the White House Lawn

Fun fact: the UFC event will take place on the White House lawn this weekend, right on time for Trump’s 80th birthday.

This shit is right out of a History of Rome podcast.

Keep reading for a small historical tangent. I’m trying to remember the exact events; I’ll look it up.

Thesis

A bit of a hyperbolic comparison, but entertaining — and perhaps a little insightful.

When I thought of Trump hosting a UFC event right on the White House lawn while engaged in a war so unpopular it has accelerated his drop in approval to 37% — supposedly as part of America’s Semiquincentennial celebration, its 250th birthday — my mind went straight to Commodus.

Commodus took power in the year 180 AD, right after a historic period of peace in which the Five Good Emperors held power. The period of 27 BC – 180 AD is considered the Pax Romana, conveniently ending right there. (Another fun fact: from a purely logistical standpoint, historians consider this the best period in all of past history for a religion to propagate — the height of power and stability of any society.) Anyway, this all ended when Commodus took power.

Marcus Aurelius

Strangely enough, Marcus Aurelius was responsible for handing power to his son Commodus. You would think that one of the best-known Roman emperors — known for his wisdom and philosophy — would not have raised such a terrible son. I'm not going to pretend to have the slightest idea how this happened, but what is known is that Marcus tried to prepare Commodus for leadership through schooling, and even made him co-emperor at 16. When the time came for Commodus to succeed him, though, Marcus knew he was not ready, and it was widely believed that Marcus would have liked someone else to take over — but worried that Commodus would seize power either way by his birthright. I bet he had very mixed feelings about it; it was his son, and it almost seemed like the act of a man depressed at having failed to prepare him, passing on the crown with an attitude of hopelessness, knowing he had doomed Rome.

The Roman Empire had already begun to have problems brewing at its borders; its neighbours were growing more powerful. (Given what I know about how past emperors acted, I wonder if Aurelius had hoped that this is how Commodus would start his reign — it was a pattern that most great emperors began their rule on a military campaign, expanding the empire, and that likely gave them a greater appreciation of what it took to maintain such a vast swath of land. The difficulties of war might have instilled some sense in Commodus. But don't quote me on any of that; it's just a thought that occurred to me.)

Commodus was emperor in the year 190 AD when Rome experienced its great fire. I think his popularity was already falling at this point, so he used the crisis to try to gain some favor. He took charge of the rebuilding and often donated money to those most affected, all while supporting public infrastructure projects that benefited his name — statues, and renaming various buildings. Ha — I actually did not know this, but apparently he even renamed Rome to Colonia Commodiana, the Colony of Commodus. Funny.

Commodus’s degeneracy only grew from there, as he participated in the Colosseum games himself. He reportedly shot many wild animals himself, even fighting as a gladiator for all of his subjects to watch. At this point he started to fancy himself a manic, egotistical god — wearing lionskins around his loins while claiming to be Hercules, and renaming the months after himself. Then, the reason I even thought of this: in 191 or 192 AD he hosted a 14-day games to celebrate Rome’s “re-founding,” appearing multiple times in the Colosseum as an animal hunter and gladiator. This was all half-dedicated to his birthday present to himself.

Shortly after this, his mistress tried to poison him — but because he was drinking so heavily that day, he ended up vomiting the poison out, so his conspirators had to send a professional wrestler to finish the job. He ended his life strangled in a bathtub. (I forgot that’s how he died. Quite funny that his debauchery nearly saved him.)